Sunday, 9 October 2011

the little things

Lately I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed, making lots of big decisions about big things, thinking about the future more than I ever have before. When I get stressed and overwhelmed I feel this paranoia and sadness creeping in slowly, and to shake it off I've been trying to focus on the little things in my life that make me happy.

bright yellow flowers on the mantelpiece


fun thrifted teatowels drying on the washing line


having lots of books in my 'to read' pile


this calming soft photograph of one of my mum's many orchids


a daily reminder to love


getting rolls of film developed


blue skies and autumn leaves


drinking tea from this mug, a gift from a lovely friend


And just a little note to say, although I don't really talk about it on this blog, or generally in fact, I suffer from depression, and have done for almost 10 years. As part of it I have bouts of paranoia, where I become convinced people don't like me, and that my friendships are in fact elaborate hoaxes to trick me into thinking people like me, but really they are all talking about me and how much they hate me. It sounds silly writing it, and most of the time I don't feel like this, but it's a part of me and who I am. Sometimes I get sad and lonely and paranoid for no reason, and although I want my blog to be a positive place to talk about positive things, I also want it to be real and honest. xoxo

2 comments:

  1. Dude, you're not the only one who feels that way. I totally get what you mean by feeling silly writing it, I do too. Depression is such a hard subject to talk about, so many people don't get it. I've had people be shocked at the fact that I suffer from it because "I am happy all the time". It's as if you're expected to walk under a cloud all day and dramatically threaten to kill yourself all the time. But yeah, the point is that if you ever need to talk about it I want you to know that I can perfectly relate and I will be happy to discuss these touchy subjects with you and hey YOU FUCKING RULE, OK? :)

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  2. And I don't get why I am the only comment here. And also, nice blog makeover!

    ReplyDelete

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