Tuesday, 4 August 2015
Just Keep Swimming
Yesterday marked my first blog post in two months. I have generally been very absent from social media, and I know a few people have commented on this. Most of you will already know that my year did not start off well - if you're not sure what I'm talking about then you can read my blog post about it right here. Although time has helped improve things, my confidence and my work have taken huge blows as a result. Each day has been a new struggle, to find motivation to perform even the most basic of tasks. Since starting Ladybird Likes three years ago I've always found it easy to push myself and motivate myself - I love coming up with new ideas and working on growing my business, but the last seven months have been really tough. I have battled with depression and anxiety for many years, but had been coping with it much better in recent years, however I feel as though I have slipped backwards lately. My business has suffered massively as a result. I feel under constant pressure to create a business and products and lifestyle that fits a certain aesthetic, and that will ultimately make me money, and lately the pressure has stopped motivating me and driving me to work harder, and has instead started to make me feel as though I can't cope.
There were several points where I felt that perhaps I should close Ladybird Likes and look for other employment. While I don't want to bore you with the details, trying to find somewhere to rent in London on my own, with space to work, is proving to be almost impossible. Most landlords want me to be earning an insane amount of money to rent a one bedroom flat (£42k salary to rent a £1200 a month flat!) And the fact that I lost close to £3500 in my studio ordeal at the end of last year, none of which I have been able to reclaim so far, has meant that I've been very cautious with spending money on the business this year.
I know what I want to be doing, I feel as though I can make it happen, but I'm just not sure how to get there right now. This post is in no way a 'hey I'm all better now, everything is fixed' kind of statement. I do finally feel as though I've finally got a few bits of my life back under control - I'm really excited to be blogging again, and creating content specifically for my blog, including lots of DIY and craft projects. But I've had to look really hard at my business and my life in general, and work out what I need to be doing. I have made the very tough decision to not launch any new product ranges this year - it is something I absolutely LOVE doing, but right now I know the pressure will overwhelm me. Instead I will be working away behind the scenes experimenting with new techniques and materials, designing new products, and planning lots of awesome things ready for 2016.
That's not to say that I will be disappearing completely this year. Not at all! I will be really busy on my social media accounts, and am hoping to also have a few sales of some very limited runs of handmade items. I've also been toying with the idea of doing some sort of fundraising to try and recoup some of the money I lost during my studio ordeal. Maybe a kickstarter campaign, or something similar. But I will post more information about that as and when I figure out the details.
Thank you to everyone that has stuck by me and my business during this tough time. All your comments and messages and purchases make me smile and keep me going.