Saturday, 9 August 2014

thoughts and ramblings


Today is my birthday. Not just any birthday, but my 28th birthday. To most people this isn't an important birthday at all, but for me it is. Not because it's my birthday, but because it marks an important stage of my life.

Ten years ago on this exact day I turned 18, and I met a boy who became my boyfriend. He was my first real boyfriend, and I thought we would be together forever. Ten years ago today I sat and thought about where my life would be in ten years time. I was off to university to study Psychology and Criminal Justice Studies, with the aim of becoming a Criminal Psychologist. I was in a long-term relationship with a guy I thought I would one day marry. I thought I had everything figured out, and knew exactly what my life would look like aged 28. But I was so wrong.

I've spoken on this blog a few times about my break up with my ex. Not because I think you're all so interested in my past relationships (because they are very few and very boring) but because it marked a real turning point in my life. Aged 23 I split with my boyfriend after almost five years together. It was a messy break up, which left me living back with my parents, struggling to complete my degree in Creative Writing whilst coping with having my world turned upside down. It was hands down one of the hardest times in my life.

At the time I resented the years of my life I'd spent in the relationship, all the sacrifices I'd made for someone who ultimately did not love me. Sometimes I still do have moments of resentment, but ultimately I have come to accept it. Without that negative time I wouldn't be where I am now. Having everything in my life turned round gave me the opportunity to start over, and to do what I wanted, rather than what I thought I needed to do to be the person I thought I had to be. After five years of being someone's girlfriend, I finally had time to be who I wanted to be. I got a job I loved, started this blog, made new friends, started crafting, and ultimately began Ladybird Likes. And a year and a half ago I met Jonathan, who is everything I could ever want and so much more. Having such an awful relationship history has only made me appreciate him that much more. Without going on (because you know how I get carried away!) he has given me the confidence to follow my dreams, and to be the person I really am. He encourages me, supports me, tells me I look nice, and fuels my Starbucks addiction. He is everything I could ever ask for and so much more too.

Ten years ago today I thought I had my life planned out, but I'm so glad that it didn't turn out like that. Sure I wish I didn't live at home with my parents. I'd like to have more money and work a bit less. But I'm happy. Happier than I was ten years ago. Happier than I've ever been before.  I've done things, and been places, and had experiences I'd never even dared to dream of for myself. I am grateful every day for the life I have, and I wouldn't change a second of it.

Today is my 28th birthday. I guess I should say how old I feel, and how I don't want to turn 30, and all the usual stuff. Sure, sometimes when people ask me how old I am I have to stop and think because my automatic answer is 23. I don't feel like I am 28 years old, and people often tell me I don't look my age. But if this is what it's like being 28, then it can't be all bad.


10 comments:

  1. After a few really rocky and dysfunctional relationships I met a guy who I would usually not have given a second look. Next year will be 10 years together and 9 married. I am thankful every day for the horrible men I dated that give me such a great application for my husband. My thought is, you have to have a few bad to know when you find the good =)

    Oh and I'm 32 and my automatic answer when someone asks me how old I am is 25, then I'm like, wait I'm not 25 I'm 32 and I get the oddest looks hah.

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  2. This is a lovely blog post and very inspirational to read. Happy Birthday :)

    Lea Lou x

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  3. This is lovely. All the bad experiences shape us in some way, and I'm so glad you're happy now. Happy birthday xx

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  4. Aw lovely positive post, Happy birthday to you!x

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  5. Such an awesome post to read! Happy birthday, gorgeous. It has been so nice to watch everything blossom for you over the past few years and I can't wait to see what happens next <3

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  6. It's funny how life turns out isn't it? I'm definitely not where I thought I would be 10 years ago but I wouldn't change a thing. Glad you're in a happier place now - and happy birthday! :) x

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  7. Wonderful post! If you'd told my 28 year old self (let alone my 18 year old self) what my 41 year old self was doing (& had done) I'd be shocked. Life is a roller coat set full of surprises but it would be boring if we went in a straight line. I've found life just gets better and better the older I get! You are a brilliant, inspiring person who has every right to be proud of what you have achieved. So glad you are in such a good place now. Just think what the next ten years have in store. Happy birthday and I'll see you soon

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  8. Happy Birthday! I hope you have a lovely day!

    This is such a lovely post and straight from the heart. It's weird - I'm 36 and five years ago I was on a totally different career path and going out with a man who didn't want to commit and I'm sure who was cheating on me. Now I have a job I love, a crafty sideline and am married to my lovely husband (a different guy, in case you're wondering!). It's so funny how life can change and take you in directions you didn't expect, which turn out to be awesome! And you are totally awesome as are your lovely products! x

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  9. Happy Birthday :) I think it's lovely that you can look back and see where all the twists and turns have taken you; and it sounds like 28 is going to be pretty good to you!

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  10. Happy birthday! (28 is my lucky number! And now I'm 31 I still can't quite keep a track of my age... time goes by so fast.) Hope you had a lovely day and glad to hear how things have changed in such a good way for you! xx

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