People often talk about the things in their life they would do differently, but to an extent I wouldn't change anything about my life. Sure, I wish someone had talked me out of getting a perm at age 13, but hey, it all turned out okay in the end (and by end I mean 4 years later when my hair finally grew out all the perm.) But, for the sake of discussion, this is a list of things I would tell myself if I could go back in time. Although, knowing myself at 18 I probably wouldn't even listen to my own advice.
1. step away from the fake tan, I repeat, step away from the fake tan, Yeah, I know everyone else uses it and looks great but trust me, you have ginger hair and freckled skin, you're just not meant to be tanned.
2. enjoy the drinking now while it's still fun and you can drink an entire bottle of apple sourz, and stay out till 7am and wake up the next day feeling like a million dollars. Because soon, in fact VERY soon, your body is going to seek its revenge and you will finally understand where the term 'hangover from hell' comes from.
3. that boy that you are going to sacrifice everything for, he's not worth it. But do it anyway because as hard as it will be when five years later he breaks your heart, it will make you a better person in the end.
4. you're going to meet two crazy American girls, who will become two of your best friends. Make the most of them while they are here, go out whenever they invite you, spend every second you can with them, because when they leave you are going to miss them so much.
5. as yummy as Reese's peanut butter cups are, they are not a meal. Also, just because you had chips and cheese at 3am does not mean you can skip breakfast. Ever.
6. you will probably always suffer from depression but it will get easier, I promise.
7. don't waste your money on high heels - no matter how hard you try you will never be able to walk in them so just give it up and spend the money on alcohol instead.
Writing this has made me realise just how much (and also how little) has changed in the 7 years since I was an 18 year old going off to university, moving away from home for the first time. I miss a lot of things about being younger, but there are lots of things I don't miss too! I feel much more comfortable with who I am now. When I was 17/18 I thought that when I was 25 I would be married, or at least living with a long-term boyfriend, probably owning our own apartment, and I'd be working as a highly paid Criminal Profiler, possibly getting head-hunted by the FBI or MI5. (okay the last bit was always a daydream but I did think I would be a criminal profiler!) How different my life is! I am single, I live at home with my parents, two sisters, and dog, I work part-time in a shop, and am many thousands of pounds in debt thanks to being a student for 7 years. But, you know what, I'm happy. I have dreams, and I am working on making them a reality. And if I could tell my 18 year old self only one thing it would be to always believe in yourself because one day you will make your own dreams come true.
(PS. this post turned into a massive gay mushy love note to myself and I apologise, but sometimes you gotta go with what you feel like writing, and this is what I felt like writing so ha.)
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
shades of black and white
I still can't quite believe I have finished university. It was only a year long course (an ABC Diploma for those not in the know) but it has literally flown by. One of my favourite things about studying at UAL is the end of year period when all the degree shows are up - it's so inspiring seeing what everyone has been working on for the last year (or three in the case of the BA courses!) Here are a few shots from my last few weeks as an LCC student, mostly of work from the various degree shows....
A bittersweet post right there - happy to have completed the course (survived would be a better word) and happy to have learnt new things and made new friends and have the experience to look back on. But very sad that it's all over. I've been a student almost continually since the age of four. That's nearly eleven years as a student. Now that I'm no longer a student, it's time to work out what I want to be instead. (I use the term 'be' in the loosest possible sense, as I'm forever being asked by concerned relatives what I want to 'do' or what I want to 'be' - surely I'm already doing and being lots of things! I didn't realise I had to choose just one thing!) But I'm excited for the change, for new challenges I will inevitably face. My head is full of ideas and dreams and I want to take the next step and make some of them a reality.
BA book arts (if I remember correctly) - I really love the concept of 'book' being a term that's open to interpretation. It made for a much more interesting exhibit.
this was one of my favourite pieces, and has made me all the more eager to start my embroidered quotes up again (watch this space!)
there was a typewriter and blank sheets of paper so people could leave comments and feedback about the exhibition - if I ever do a solo exhibition I'm totally stealing this idea!
it's no secret that i LOVE papercuts, so naturally i fell in love with this piece - it was so unbelievably intricate. It's hard to get a sense of scale from the picture but the sheet of paper was massive (probably like A1) so the cut out wording was tiny in comparison!
this was one of those shots that I tried but didn't think it would come out at all - it's a photograph of a film playing, recorded by a guy on super 8 film. It was a gorgeous silent short film (he had dubbed music playing over the top) and this still from it totally took my breath away.
yeah, I'm pretty much obsessed with neon lighting in the shape of words right now
this piece summed up for me a lot of my experiences as an art student (and as a writing student too actually!) - but where would we all be if there were no art?
i want to create a set up like this in my house one day - i love the way photos look grouped together without frames (as you can tell from the way i chose to display my work at my exhibition!)
A bittersweet post right there - happy to have completed the course (survived would be a better word) and happy to have learnt new things and made new friends and have the experience to look back on. But very sad that it's all over. I've been a student almost continually since the age of four. That's nearly eleven years as a student. Now that I'm no longer a student, it's time to work out what I want to be instead. (I use the term 'be' in the loosest possible sense, as I'm forever being asked by concerned relatives what I want to 'do' or what I want to 'be' - surely I'm already doing and being lots of things! I didn't realise I had to choose just one thing!) But I'm excited for the change, for new challenges I will inevitably face. My head is full of ideas and dreams and I want to take the next step and make some of them a reality.
Friday, 24 June 2011
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Exhibition Night at LCC
As many of you know last Thursday was the private viewing of my group exhibition at LCC (London College of Communication) to celebrate the end of my one year ABC Diploma in Photography. It has been a rollercoaster year. When I first started the course I hated it, and I came very close to quitting altogether. It was only my own stubborn nature, and my refusal to not see something through to the end, that meant I stayed put. And I'm so glad I did. Through this course I have met two of my favourite people in the world, who inspire me endlessly (yeah, that's you Masayo and Sofia!), and it's given me the opportunity to develop my own style within photography, and I think I'm a better photographer because of this. Enough of the sap though.....
I arrived early and alone on the opening night, as I needed to put out my business cards and portfolios, and make sure my space was ready. Here is the view of my space from the bridge section over the Well Gallery.
My wall of work in all its glory. One thing I noticed was the prints I thought were going to be huge (the small are A3 and the big are A2) looked TINY on the wall. So glad I didn't make the same mistake as some people and exhibit 5x7" prints!
We even had professional looking name and titles which are basically just like letraset, and you simply rub them on the wall. My title was "everything was beautiful and nothing hurt" which is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut's 'Slaughterhouse 5', one of my all time favourite books, and the same book which my 'so it goes' tattoo is from.
About 7pm all my friends and my family arrived - I am the luckiest girl in the world to know so many amazing people, I felt close top tears at several points as familiar faces kept popping up around me. I'm also the stupidest girl in the world as once the madness started (these photos were all taken when it was calm!) I completely forgot to take ANY photos! But it's all imprinted on my memory, and I will forever be in debt to everyone who came out just to support me. Here is me looking incredibly tired but incredibly happy.
Any excuse to use my dymo labellers (yes, I have more than one) - these are my two final portfolios of work. The top one contains my photojournalism work, the bottom one my fashion photography. I left them out for people to have a flick through, and many people did which made me happy. Although my nerves meant I didn't go and talk to anyone who was looking at my work, I did overhear two girls exclaiming that my work was 'lovely' which pretty much made my life!
And finally here is a photo of my wonderful family. My Mumy, Daddy, Gemma, Jadie (my younger sisters) and me. They are the most amazing family and I love them all endlessly.
Thanks again to everyone who came along - you're all amazing, and one day I hope to be able to show you the love and support you've shown me. That or I will buy you some cake. xoxo
PS. I can't believe after all the stress and craziness I take down my exhibition tonight! All feels a little surreal.
I arrived early and alone on the opening night, as I needed to put out my business cards and portfolios, and make sure my space was ready. Here is the view of my space from the bridge section over the Well Gallery.
My wall of work in all its glory. One thing I noticed was the prints I thought were going to be huge (the small are A3 and the big are A2) looked TINY on the wall. So glad I didn't make the same mistake as some people and exhibit 5x7" prints!
We even had professional looking name and titles which are basically just like letraset, and you simply rub them on the wall. My title was "everything was beautiful and nothing hurt" which is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut's 'Slaughterhouse 5', one of my all time favourite books, and the same book which my 'so it goes' tattoo is from.
About 7pm all my friends and my family arrived - I am the luckiest girl in the world to know so many amazing people, I felt close top tears at several points as familiar faces kept popping up around me. I'm also the stupidest girl in the world as once the madness started (these photos were all taken when it was calm!) I completely forgot to take ANY photos! But it's all imprinted on my memory, and I will forever be in debt to everyone who came out just to support me. Here is me looking incredibly tired but incredibly happy.
Any excuse to use my dymo labellers (yes, I have more than one) - these are my two final portfolios of work. The top one contains my photojournalism work, the bottom one my fashion photography. I left them out for people to have a flick through, and many people did which made me happy. Although my nerves meant I didn't go and talk to anyone who was looking at my work, I did overhear two girls exclaiming that my work was 'lovely' which pretty much made my life!
And finally here is a photo of my wonderful family. My Mumy, Daddy, Gemma, Jadie (my younger sisters) and me. They are the most amazing family and I love them all endlessly.
Thanks again to everyone who came along - you're all amazing, and one day I hope to be able to show you the love and support you've shown me. That or I will buy you some cake. xoxo
PS. I can't believe after all the stress and craziness I take down my exhibition tonight! All feels a little surreal.
Sunday, 19 June 2011
my rainbow crocheted blanket
Well, this isn't the exhibition post I promised.... I still need to go through all my photos, so will post that next week... but in the meantime I wanted to show you something I thrifted last weekend. It's possibly my new favourite possession...
Yup, it's a huge crocheted blanket (in case you hadn't worked that out from the title of this post!) I'm always looking out for crocheted blankets - I already have one, but it's quite small and I'm not a huge fan of the purple and green colour scheme. So when I saw this poking out I pounced, quite literally, and quickly checked it over for holes and stains. As you can see it is in perfect condition. The lady told me she made it for one of her children but they never used it, which made me really sad. How can people not love things that other people make for them? I asked her how much she wanted for it, expecting her to say £10, maybe more. She told me I could have it for £2 because she just wanted it to go to someone who would cherish it.
It's on my bed now, and I wrap myself up in it every night. I use it as a wraparound when I sit on my computer in my study to keep warm. When I get the chance to go on some picnics this summer I'm going to take it with me. Definitely a keeper. One day I'd like to make one of these myself, but until then I will admire this one.
(and a little bit of blue sky for those of you who have been having rain - nothing makes me happier that a blue sky above.)
Yup, it's a huge crocheted blanket (in case you hadn't worked that out from the title of this post!) I'm always looking out for crocheted blankets - I already have one, but it's quite small and I'm not a huge fan of the purple and green colour scheme. So when I saw this poking out I pounced, quite literally, and quickly checked it over for holes and stains. As you can see it is in perfect condition. The lady told me she made it for one of her children but they never used it, which made me really sad. How can people not love things that other people make for them? I asked her how much she wanted for it, expecting her to say £10, maybe more. She told me I could have it for £2 because she just wanted it to go to someone who would cherish it.
It's on my bed now, and I wrap myself up in it every night. I use it as a wraparound when I sit on my computer in my study to keep warm. When I get the chance to go on some picnics this summer I'm going to take it with me. Definitely a keeper. One day I'd like to make one of these myself, but until then I will admire this one.
(and a little bit of blue sky for those of you who have been having rain - nothing makes me happier that a blue sky above.)
Friday, 17 June 2011
Friday Favourites
1. Neon, 2. dark London, 3. Peanut Butter Cup Heart, 4. random fukumitsu 5, 5. the cat is interested in everything, 6. 13/52, 7. Il palazzo di un parcheggio a Milano, 8. ..., 9. Camera collection
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Exhibition Preparation
Since Monday I have been a busy bee hanging my exhibition at university, ready for the opening night of our group show, which is tonight! I wanted to share a few peeks into my preparation for the exhibition, but will share proper photos from the opening night in a few days.
This is my bit of wall - we were each allocated two metres of wall which we could utilise however we liked. I'm in the Well Gallery, which I was very happy about as it gets lots of lovely natural light, and it's usually pretty busy.
I'm keeping my hanging really simple (plus I couldn't afford to have all my pieces framed!) so they are being hung on these metal clips. I arranged them how I wanted them and used masking tape as a temporary hold, which was good as I rearranged them several (dozen) times!
This is the final layout - it took me so long to get it right because I didn't want lots of green photos bunched together, and I wanted a good even mix of landscape and portrait orientated shots.
Haha, this is me goofing around waiting for my Dad to arrive and drill the holes. Yes, I got my Dad to do it for me. If you've ever seen me with a power tool then you will understand why. I'm a woman of many talents (so modest too) but DIY is definitely not one of them.
And here he is, my hero, my Dad, putting all the screws in for my photos. I did buy him a double Snickers bar in return though. Pretty fair trade if you ask me!
My exhibition space is right next to one of my best friend from uni's installation piece. She was constructing it while I was hanging my work, and I took some pictures to document her progress too. She made 202 origami lilies as part of a fundraising tribute to the victims of the Japanese earthquakes and tsunami earlier this year. They look absolutely stunning all lined up.
If you're coming tonight, then I will see you there! Just to warn you, I will have my instax mini camera with me, and I want a shot of every one of my guests! And if you want to come then please do; it's at London College of Communication, Elephant and Castle, from 6-9pm. Please RSVP to events@lcc.arts.ac.uk first otherwise you may not be allowed in. Wish me monsters. xoxo (if you get that reference then I will publicly declare my undying love for you)
This is my bit of wall - we were each allocated two metres of wall which we could utilise however we liked. I'm in the Well Gallery, which I was very happy about as it gets lots of lovely natural light, and it's usually pretty busy.
I'm keeping my hanging really simple (plus I couldn't afford to have all my pieces framed!) so they are being hung on these metal clips. I arranged them how I wanted them and used masking tape as a temporary hold, which was good as I rearranged them several (dozen) times!
This is the final layout - it took me so long to get it right because I didn't want lots of green photos bunched together, and I wanted a good even mix of landscape and portrait orientated shots.
Haha, this is me goofing around waiting for my Dad to arrive and drill the holes. Yes, I got my Dad to do it for me. If you've ever seen me with a power tool then you will understand why. I'm a woman of many talents (so modest too) but DIY is definitely not one of them.
And here he is, my hero, my Dad, putting all the screws in for my photos. I did buy him a double Snickers bar in return though. Pretty fair trade if you ask me!
My exhibition space is right next to one of my best friend from uni's installation piece. She was constructing it while I was hanging my work, and I took some pictures to document her progress too. She made 202 origami lilies as part of a fundraising tribute to the victims of the Japanese earthquakes and tsunami earlier this year. They look absolutely stunning all lined up.
If you're coming tonight, then I will see you there! Just to warn you, I will have my instax mini camera with me, and I want a shot of every one of my guests! And if you want to come then please do; it's at London College of Communication, Elephant and Castle, from 6-9pm. Please RSVP to events@lcc.arts.ac.uk first otherwise you may not be allowed in. Wish me monsters. xoxo (if you get that reference then I will publicly declare my undying love for you)
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
List 4: things that I collect (or sort of collect!)
Collecting is in my blood - I don't even realise I am doing it, and then suddenly I've got several dozen of something and am genuinely surprised by it! That being said not all the things I say I 'collect' are actual collections - they are just things I have multiples of. But I will include them in this list because in my eyes anything you have more than five of is a collection. So there.
1. polaroid cameras
2. buttons
3. royal memorabilia mugs
4. pez dispensers
5. vintage button badges
6. postcards
7. drinks mats
8. souvenir teaspoons
9. Eiffel Tower statues
10. vintage brooches
11. Alice in Wonderland books
12. novelty tea towels
13. playing card sets
14. vintage scarves
15. pretty fabric scraps
16. erasers
17. vintage craft magazines
18. tote bags
19. deer figurines
20. washi tape
I'm sure there are many more things I could add to this list, but these are the main things I collect. I also have a long list of things I would like to collect.... so maybe I will blog that at a later date!
PS. I'm really loving this 52 lists project. Have so many ideas for lists I want to write, and I might even make some of them into a mini zine. Just for kicks.
1. polaroid cameras
2. buttons
3. royal memorabilia mugs
4. pez dispensers
5. vintage button badges
6. postcards
7. drinks mats
8. souvenir teaspoons
9. Eiffel Tower statues
10. vintage brooches
11. Alice in Wonderland books
12. novelty tea towels
13. playing card sets
14. vintage scarves
15. pretty fabric scraps
16. erasers
17. vintage craft magazines
18. tote bags
19. deer figurines
20. washi tape
I'm sure there are many more things I could add to this list, but these are the main things I collect. I also have a long list of things I would like to collect.... so maybe I will blog that at a later date!
PS. I'm really loving this 52 lists project. Have so many ideas for lists I want to write, and I might even make some of them into a mini zine. Just for kicks.
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Lazy Days in Lazy Oaf
As many of you already know I work for an amazing company called Lazy Oaf. A few weeks ago they asked me if I would shoot some photos for their blog, styling up some of their clothes on my fellow shopgirl and previous model Dee. Of course I jumped at the chance, and one sunny day me and Dee embarked on a shoot that was one of the most fun but most tiring days of my life! Here is the end result... please do let me know what you think!
Lazy Oaf blogged my photos plus a short interview with me over here, so please go check it out and leave some feedback. I also have some instax mini photos to share but will save those for next week as I have some exhibition sneak peeks I want to post tomorrow.
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